


To Love Somebody and Still Run

by photographer_of_thoughts



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: 3x10, Alternate Universe - Future, Blackmail, Episode Related, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Forced Marriage, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Gilbert Is A Mess, Happy Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21598228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/photographer_of_thoughts/pseuds/photographer_of_thoughts
Summary: Gilbert ran after Anne and finally expressed his feelings, only to be pressured into marrying Winifred anyway by her furious, humiliated father.Half a year into their marriage, Gilbert can’t take it anymore.
Relationships: (one sided), Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Winifred Rose
Comments: 7
Kudos: 131





	To Love Somebody and Still Run

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone :) I absolutely adore "Anne with an E" and the last episode of season 3 gave me A LOT of feelings. I had to write something. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> ** I'll put a warning on here for slight spoilers, so if you haven't watched season 3 in its entirety, you might want to wait to read this until you do. ALSO, there is no actual smut in this, but there is some brief mentions of sexy times and Gilbert's fantasies of Anne, which is why this is rated Teen and Up. :) **
> 
> Title from the song 'Still Run' by Wet.

**Six Months Earlier**

“You won’t even  _ look  _ at me, Gilbert!” Winifred cried, slamming her hands down on her dressing table. 

Gilbert wanted to protest as he sat on the sofa, head buried in his hands; attempting not to wince at the shrillness of her tone. He  _ had  _ looked at her. He’d been looking at her for the past ten minutes but only just looked away, unable to help the way he was imagining someone else standing in her place. 

Winifred looked elegant and gorgeous in an eggshell white wedding gown, hair tied up neatly except the loose curly strands tickling her ears. Her white, satin gloves hugged just above her elbows and her lips were stained a darker pink than her natural, every day appearance. 

Gilbert should have been head-over-heels ready to marry her. She was smart, witty and kind to everyone she met. She was beautiful and her family was lovely to Gilbert - recent events notwithstanding. He was going to move to Paris, the city of love, and get to work in the exact field of medicine he desired most. 

He literally had  _ everything  _ in front of him. He only needed to say ‘I do’ and the world could be his. 

“Gilbert, this is our wedding day. I’m supposed to be happy right now.” Winifred said, quieter this time; her voice shaky and filled with tears. 

When he looked up again, he could see she was ready to start sobbing and he just couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t make his own guilt, his own yearning, ruin the wonderful person she was. She didn’t deserve that. 

“I’ve looked at you, dearest. And I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.” He said, getting up from his sitting position and reaching for her - pulling her into his chest. 

She came surprisingly easy, wrapping her arms around him and letting herself shed a few tears; blubbering against his suit jacket. He stroked the side of her cheek with one hand while the other rested against her waist - feeling the warm fabric of her dress. 

“You’re everything to me.” He continued, closing his eyes. 

He wasn’t surprised when it was Anne’s face that appeared in his mind, her long red hair blowing behind her in the wind. He thought of the night he’d gone to see her, to try and ask whether she loved him too. Her face had been ablaze with the light of the fire as she’d danced, the world seeming to stop as he’d watched her. In that moment, and all the moments after it -  _ Anne  _ had been the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 

_ But that’s gone now. You’ll never see her again.  _

“I love you, Gilbert. And I want this marriage to work. I was so happy when you changed your mind, when you came to me and said you’d made a mistake.” Winifred sniffled, pulling back to look up at him. 

He smiled at her, wiping the rest of her tears away. “I love you, too.” 

And maybe he  _ could  _ love her. Maybe being married - sharing a home and a life - would make him forget about his Anne with an ‘e.’ Maybe Winnie would become the keeper of the key to his heart. Maybe she’d be the only one he dreamed of, longed for - thought of and desired. 

Maybe, he told himself. 

And it was that thought - that silent prayer he sent up to whoever might be listening in the vast ceiling of the church - that made him utter the words, ‘I do.’ 

**

**Now**

It was Winnie that read the letter, which Gilbert had tried to avoid at all costs. But the post had come three days earlier than expected, and he hadn’t been home at the time to personally receive it. 

When he got home that day, Winnie was sitting with her parents in their living room - eyes red rimmed as she held his gaze. He placed his bag down on the floor and had barely come into the room when Mr. Rose stood up and walked briskly over to him, the letter in his hand. 

“Care to explain yourself?” He snapped at Gilbert, shoving the letter at him. 

Gilbert immediately recognized Anne’s hand-writing, and his heart sank. “Nigel, I didn’t mean for her to see this.” 

_ This  _ being a response that Gilbert hadn’t actually thought he would get. It’s not like he deserved to get an answer. He wished he could open it right now and see what Anne had replied, even if it was just that she wouldn’t be speaking to him again. But now wasn’t the time. 

“Oh, so it would have just continued right under my nose if I hadn’t discovered your adultery?” Winnifred suddenly shouted, up from her chair in an instant as tears filled her eyes again. 

“Adultery? That’s not what this is.” Gilbert shook his head hurriedly, feeling frazzled and much too tired to explain himself properly. It felt like he hadn’t been sleeping properly for weeks. 

Well, more like for the entire six months he’d been someone’s husband. 

“You’re exchanging love notes with another woman!” Mrs. Rose exclaimed, looking at him with almost the exact same expression as her daughter. Confused. Hurt. Angry. 

“I didn’t send Anne a love note. I sent her an explanation.” Gilbert sighed, pocketing the letter and walking into the room. He went straight for the drink tray and poured himself some whiskey. 

Back in Avonlea, hardly anyone had alcohol in their houses, whether for personal use or for guests. But Europe seemed to be looser in their morals about some things, alcoholic drinks in the home included. And right at this moment Gilbert had never been more grateful. 

“Explanation of what, exactly?” Winnie asked, still sounding baffled as to why Gilbert would even bother. 

“As to why I married you. As to why, after I called off our premature engagement and went to see her with intentions of us being together, I suddenly moved to Paris and married you anyway!” Gilbert shouted, much louder and angrier than he’d intended. Everyone in the room seemed equally as shocked by his brashness of tone. 

Winnie seemed unable to process his words, the frown between her eyes deepening as she looked between her parents for an explanation. “Father, I…” 

“You would be the person to best explain it, Nigel. Considering you’re the reason we’re all in this bloody situation!” Gilbert snapped, pointing a finger at his father-in-law. 

‘Bloody’ was a word he’d somehow let slip into his vocabulary lately, something else he could blame on Nigel and his British-ness. 

It was the first time he’d ever spoken to someone - especially a person who was a figure of authority - as if they were in the wrong. But he knew Nigel was. He’d known it for as long as he’d been married. 

“Excuse me?” The older man practically growled, his voice low. 

“You know exactly what I mean.” Gilbert held his ground despite his shaking hands, despite the sudden feeling that his lunch was crawling back up his throat. 

“Nigel. What’s going on?” Mrs. Rose asked, her voice a squeak compared to everyone else’s. 

“Nothing.” 

“Oh, for God’s sake.” Gilbert plopped down into the nearest chair and took a long drink, nearly finishing it. 

“Father, what does he mean? What did you do?” Winnie pleaded, trying to slow down her tears but to no avail. 

“I made you happy, darling. I gave you what you wanted.” Nigel stated matter-of-factly, as if that was the end of the conversation. 

“Does she look happy to you?” Gilbert asked, suppressing the urge to laugh at how abominably absurd this whole thing was. Why had he agreed to it? Why had he let Nigel back him into a corner all those months ago, right when everything had begun to fall into its proper place?

“She would be happy if you would be a proper husband!” 

“Nigel, stop that.” Mrs. Rose chastised, putting a hand on her husband’s shoulder. “I think everyone has said quite enough for tonight.” 

“I can’t be a proper husband.” Gilbert whispered, and maybe it was the alcohol in his blood that made him finally say it. Maybe he was slightly tipsy and therefore unable to hold back his true feelings, the extent of the pain he’d been festering in for the entire time he’d been in Paris. 

Or maybe it was because he was utterly tired of waiting to feel something for Winnie that he only felt for Anne. Maybe it was because he couldn’t even kiss Winnie goodbye in the morning without remembering how sweet the kisses he’d shared with Anne had been - how it felt like his entire world finally,  _ finally  _ made sense when he held her in his arms. 

Maybe it was because he’d made love to Winnie, felt her naked body against his and he hadn’t been able to really enjoy it because he only wondered what Anne would taste like. How she’d arch her back or what she’d say or how her wet mouth would feel as he pushed into her, the sweetness of their first kisses replaced with a passion Gilbert didn’t feel with his actual  _ wife.  _

Maybe it was because when he dreamed, he only dreamed of the way Anne’s mouth moved with his and he couldn’t do this anymore. 

“ _ Gilbert.”  _ Winifred cried, her arms around her middle in an attempt to find some kind of comfort. 

“I’ve tried, Winnie. And I know you have, too. But we’re not happy. You deserve someone who will love you because you’re  _ you.  _ Like I said when I first tried to let you go. That person has never been and will never be...me.” 

Nigel suddenly grabbed something off the cabinet next to him and threw it across the room, smashing a few other glass objects off the mantelpiece. Gilbert didn’t even flinch. 

“You have  _ no  _ right to speak to my daughter that way!” 

“Father, he’s right.” Winnie said, the words enough to make Nigel’s face of rage turn into one of confusion as he stared at his daughter. “I’m not happy in this marriage. Clearly you told Gilbert something that made him marry me out of obligation - or out of  _ blackmail _ more like - but that didn’t make me happy. If he doesn’t love me, then I don’t want this.” 

Looking at his wife’s sullen face made Gilbert suddenly felt guilty for putting all the blame on Nigel. He had agreed to the marriage after all, even under the threat that he would never practice medicine again. Nigel had promised that if Gilbert hadn’t gone through with the marriage as planned, he would contact every university in Europe and Canada and tell them of Gilbert’s horrendous morals as a man. Gilbert would end up rejected from them all and be forced to stay on his farm. 

At the time, Gilbert had believed him. He couldn’t imagine doing anything else than being a doctor. It was his  _ dream.  _ So, he’d said yes before really thinking it through; before he realized how much turmoil he would be putting Winnie, himself and Anne through. 

He hadn’t even told Anne he was leaving for Paris. He hadn’t written to her like he planned - be pen pals like they promised - until two weeks ago. She might have tried to find his address, to figure out what happened but if she had she never wrote to him. Nobody had, actually. Bash hadn’t replied to any of his letters and neither had Dr. Ward. 

Everyone was disappointed in him, it seemed. 

“Winifred, you told me you loved him. You were so excited at the prospect of marriage.” Nigel said softly, pushing some loose hair off Winnie’s face. 

“Yes, but that was when I thought he loved me too. Why would you...force him to marry me? What did you hold over him?” She demanded, putting her hands on her hips and jutting out her chin. 

“I didn’t…” 

“My ability to become a doctor. He told me that he would make sure I never got into any university. But, I’m as much to blame as he is. I agreed to it, and I’m truly sorry. I thought we might be able to be happy together, but…” Gilbert trailed off, hanging his head in shame. 

An uncomfortable silence fell over the room, everyone apparently processing what it all meant. After a few moments, Gilbert watched Winnie walk over to him slowly - hesitantly. He thought for a second that she might slap him, which he would have deserved, but instead she knelt next to him and put a hand on his knee. 

“You haven’t read her response.” She said quietly, pointing to the pocket he had put the letter in. “I think you’ll want to read it.” 

Gilbert’s curiosity was suddenly too overwhelming to ignore. He felt like he needed to say something to Winnie, to keep apologizing because he knew she was hurting. But she just smiled at him, eyebrows raised in expectation so he pulled out the somewhat crumpled piece of paper. The envelope seal was broken, and he tried to ignore the small sense of betrayal that churned inside his stomach as he pulled out the actual words he wanted to read. 

_ Gilbert,  _

_ I knew you were in Paris and that you had married Winifred. Bash told me when I came back to Avonlea to visit Marilla and Matthew. Congratulations, I suppose.  _

_ I have a feeling you were given no choice in the matter, but that could just be because I have such a high opinion of you and don’t want to believe you simply left out of plain cruelty.  _

_ I’m enjoying my time at Queens. I’m not sure what else to say because there’s too many things I want to say and not enough paper in the world. I hope you’re happy, Gilbert.  _

_ Yours truly, _

_ Anne Shirley-Cuthbert _

Gilbert looked up at Winnie and blurted out the first thing that came to mind, unable to fully process Anne’s letter. “How could you think this was a love letter?” 

His wife stood up and rolled her eyes. “You exchanging any sort of letter with your old crush is a love letter, Gilbert. Be serious.” 

Nigel and Mrs. Rose were still standing in the same places as they had from the beginning of the conversation, both of them looking as still as statues with pinched expressions on their faces. Gilbert couldn’t help the way he chuckled, shaking his head as he stood up. 

“There is nothing even remotely funny about this.” Nigel snapped, but there was less bite to his words now. 

“I know.” Gilbert nodded. “I definitely know that, but I’m very tired and very unsure of what comes next.” 

“We get divorced, obviously.” Winifred said, shrugging her shoulders like it was that simple. “And then you’re free to return to your Anne.” 

“Winifred that is  _ out  _ of the question…” Mrs. Rose began, but her daughter put up a hand to stop the inevitable landslide of hysterics. 

“This can be really simple, or really complicated. And I think by this point, we’ve made it complicated enough. Father, you will not be writing any letters to  _ any  _ universities. Gilbert is meant to be a doctor, and he’ll be a bloody good one. As for you, dear husband. You’re going to have to accept most of the blame when we file divorce papers, which likely won’t go over well and your school will likely ask you to leave for the sake of their reputation. You will transfer your grades to somewhere back in Canada, and you get to go home.” 

Winifred explained everything with such ease that Gilbert almost thought he was hallucinating. He blinked a few times as she looked at him, clearly waiting for a response. 

“Okay. Yes. I can agree to that.” He stuttered, trying to ignore how Nigel glared at him with the fire of a thousand suns. 

“Good. Find yourself a hotel somewhere in the meantime because I won’t allow you to stay here.” Winnie said, an air of finality to her tone. She turned on her heel and marched out of the room, slamming the bedroom door behind her. 

“You better leave right this minute, or so help me God, I will give you a black eye.” Nigel growled, prompting Gilbert to grab his bag and some money and practically run out the door. 

**

**Two Months Later**

Gilbert stood on the porch of Anne’s boarding house, his palms sweaty despite the cold chill of the wind. As a gentleman caller, there was probably a specific time he was allowed to be here and that time was probably not right now. But he’d come here straight off the train, running through town with the same desperation as he had nearly a year ago - the thought of seeing her the only thing that mattered. 

He couldn’t quite believe he was divorced. He was free of his sham of a marriage, and able to actually be with Anne this time. If she would have him, that is. They hadn’t exchanged any other letters, and he hadn’t told her he was coming back, which thinking about it now was probably a stupid thing to do. 

But he told himself he needed to knock on the door, push down any thoughts of turning back. And as he took a deep breath, stealing himself, he did just that. 

To his ultimate surprise, it was Anne herself that opened the door. She stared at him through the screen of the door with a look that could only be described as shock. 

“Hi, Anne.” He said, clearing his throat. 

“Gilbert, I…” She began, looking at him as if he weren’t real.

He suddenly couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips, thinking back to that day when she had literally pinched herself to make sure he had actually kissed her. He didn’t have words to describe how much he had missed her beautiful, wonderful,  _ perfect  _ face. 

“I’m not married anymore. And yes, I didn’t feel that I had a choice in the matter, like you said. I owe you a thousand apologies and a thousand explanations, but my feelings for you haven’t changed at all. I love you, Anne, and I’m so incredibly sorry.” He said everything in almost one breath, trembling as he finished and waited for her to say something. 

She looked like she was torn between slamming the door in his face and jumping into his arms.

It was only a matter of seconds before both of Gilbert’s predictions about her reaction were proved wrong. Slowly, she opened the door and walked out so she was standing directly in front of him, her face unreadable. Anne then opened her mouth as if to say something, but she instead let out a soft cry before bursting into tears. 

Gilbert had never felt someone else’s pain the way he could feel Anne’s heart breaking. His own was in just as many pieces and he couldn’t help the way he reached for her, pulling her into the circle of his arms and breathing in the woodsy smell of her red hair. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“I... _ hate  _ you, Gilbert. I’ve hated you for so long.” 

“I know.” 

“You have no right to be here. To come to me and say these things that mean absolutely  _ nothing. _ ” Anne said through her sobs, but she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer - her hand threading through his hair. 

“They mean something, Anne, because they’re true. I do love you. I’ve always loved you. It’s always been  _ you.”  _ Gilbert pleaded, kissing her freckled cheeks and the tip of her nose - tears forming in his own eyes now. 

“You’ve destroyed me. I...I thought I lost you.” 

This continued on for quite some time until Anne surged forward and connected their mouths, allowing them both to forget words and instead express themselves through feeling. And the feeling was everything Gilbert remembered and  _ more.  _ Her taste and her breath against his lips, her body pushed up close to him; the curled ends of her hair pressed between them. 

Gilbert had never been more home in his entire life. 

Even when Anne finally slapped him and he was inevitably kicked out of the house by her landlord - a very intimidating woman for someone so small - Gilbert smiled. He smiled because Anne still loved him. Anne still wanted him. 

And he was never taking that for granted again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments/feedback welcome and appreciated :)


End file.
